Clinton jokes
Times where the cast made jokes about President Clinton and the First Lady UK Jokes US Jokes - The Drew Years US-106 - Wayne dons a Clinton mask in Hats and says "I'm looking for a girl who can keep her mouth shut." US-111 - Drew awards Colin "a thousand points to Colin for turning into a pig quicker than Bill Clinton did." US-113 - Greg, as Clinton in Let's Make a Date, asks the bachelorette how old she is. He also asks, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?" He takes an interest in Ryan's portrayal of a masochist. US-110 - Colin, in Props: "Oh, look. The Clinton tombstone." (a prop shaped like a tombstone with a stick pointing upwards from the top) US-121 - Ryan in Scenes From a Hat (if Carol Channing were president): "I never made love to that woman. I never had sexual affairs with her." US-109 - Drew introduces World's Worst: "As fast as you can, come up with as many examples as possible of the World's Worst person to be president of the United States. And you know who doesn't count." US-205 - In Scenes From a Hat, presidential slogans that will not get you elected: Wayne as Clinton: "I love booty." Also, Ryan: "I stand today at this podium...(moan)" US-206 - Ryan's Scenes From a Hat suggestions for President Clinton's to-do list: "Switch to a pipe." and "When having an affair, pick someone good-looking." US-203 - Colin's suggestion for least checked out library books in Scenes From a Hat: "Twenty Ways to Self-Control - President Clinton." US-221 - Ryan's suggestion for Scenes From a Hat (dangerous thing to do while you are naked): "Five minutes, Mr. President." Also, things you wish you hadn't said to the president: "Sure, I'll be your intern" (Colin), "Cigarette, cigar?" (Brad), "I do." (Ryan) US-223 - Ryan's suggestion for Scenes From a Hat's messages delivered a little late: "Mr. Clinton - stay away from the fat broad." US-224 - Greg's Hoedown: "I never pay for nothin', I don't pay no rent, and I never tell the truth 'cause I'm the president! US-210 - "That's right, Whose Line is it Anyway, the show Hillary Clinton wants to host next year, even though she's never seen it." Also, one of the lines for Whose Line is "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." US-227 - Scenes From a Hat - Hillary Clinton's recurring nightmare, according to Kathy: "Oh, I bet he's coming home tonight, I bet he's coming home tonight." US-216 - Wayne's introduction: "I did not inhale." In Weird Newscasters, Greg reports that "President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the White House by wearing leather chaps." US-228 - Ryan in Scenes From a Hat (Odd definitions found in Webster's Dictionary): "Cigar - presidential aid." US-229 - In Hoedown, Colin sings about being ugly and ends with "the only person who'll sleep with me is the president!" US-234 - Colin in Hoedown sings about the crazy parties of his neighbors, but it turns out that he lives next the the White House. US-218 - Title sequence is about Hillary and Monica. US-236 - Ryan's introduction: "I did not have an affair with that" Ryan Stiles US-238 - In Scenes From a Hat, Ryan sings, "I've got a cigaaar!" US-239 - Chip's introduction is "I did not inhale" US-302 - From a Hat (graffiti found in the White House restroom): "For a good time, just try the next door to the left," (Kathy) "There's nothing like a Cuban," (Ryan) and "You must be at least this high to ride the ride." (Wayne) US-312 - Ryan, as the president in Narrate, talks about keeping big problems as secrets. He offers Colin a cigar. Colin points out that Ryan is wearing no pants. Ryan offers Colin wine but it stains his shirt. "I don't think I need to say anymore," Ryan comments. Ryan ends the game by saying, "I know what you're thinking. Falling in love with another man? He's better looking than most of the women I've slept with." US-305 - Drew says that the points don't matter, just like the Clinton legacy. US-313 - Robin Williams pops out from beneath Drew's desk, then says, "I'm sorry, Mr. President!" US-341 - Ryan in Scenes From a Hat (Things to say that will always start a fight): "Hey Clinton, what's with the fat broad?" US-342 - Ryan as a presidential bodyguard in Let's Make a Date: "I love a good cigar, just like my number one guy here." US-420 - For Scenes From a Hat ("People who shouldn't work naked"), Wayne says in his Clinton voice, "My fellow Americans!" US-413 - Drew as the World's Worst person to share a lifeboat with - "I did not have sex with that woman, just like I'm not gonna have sex with you." (He then pretends to pull down his pants) US-418 - Greg doing a Clinton impression for World's Worst self-help instructional video: "Hi. I used to be the president. Some of you might have trouble meeting the ladies." US-412 - Brad in Scenes From a Hat ("What politicians' wives are really thinking as they smile and wave from the podium"): "Who's that girl under the podium?" US-404 - Drew, as the World's Worst priest, does his Clinton impression: "Yes, I heard your confession, and let me tell ya, I don't think you had sex with that woman." US-516 - The last line of Colin's Cheated on the Wife Hoedown is "But I've just been pardoned by the ex-president." US-314 - As a celebrity parachuting for charity, Chip says in a Clinton voice, "I did not jump out of that airplane." US Jokes - The Aisha Years Category:Recurring Themes Category:Political Jokes